Sadness.
Can’t go over it, can’t go under it, got to go through it.
This has been the refrain running through my head since we deposited Elder Nearest-and-Dearest at her University halls at the weekend.
Many, many parents across the country have been doing similar rite-of-passage journeys. For us, the distance is a mere 50 miles, an easy emergency car or bus trip if required.
For others, countries and borders and seas have been crossed, and I can only image how that increases the sense of loss.
Now don’t get me wrong.
Leaving to go to university is an fantastically exciting opportunity with so much that opens out in terms of learning, growth, new friendships, expanded horizons. As parents we give our children roots and wings, as I was musing a few weeks back.
We prepare them to do just this: leave the nest.
But for all the excitement and newness and opportunities, there is also sadness and loss.
‘We’re going on a bear hunt‘ is a very well known and (mostly!) loved childhood book by Michael Rosen. Obstacles come along, and cannot be avoided. The running refrain throughout the book is:
Can’t go over it, can’t go under it, got to go through it“
So too with the sadness that comes with a dearly loved child leaving home.
Even more so with sadness that comes with any loss, and there have been many during these past months of Covid, lockdown and ongoing ever-changing restrictions.
We’ve got to go through it.
This is not something that we are naturally comfortable with, and we tend to avoid or suppress emotions like sadness.
More on this next week.
But this week, simply observe your own inner workings and spot where there is sadness. Take some time to simply sit with that, without judgment, and see what opens up in your learnings about yourself.
Sadness – we’ve all got to go through it.